I’m definitely in the midst of change. Ewe that word “change.” Most of us shudder at that word when our lives are stable, cozy, and right where we think they “should” be, others curse it wishing “change” would be over with so we can go back to stable and cozy. While others embrace it and learn how to ride the waves of it. That’s where I am at- finally learning how to ride the waves. Life is always changing. However some changes feel like earthquakes shaking our foundation to the core, others are like thunderstorms, causing some rumbles, rains, and winds but it will soon pass, and yet other changes are like the rain that falls during the night while we were asleep not even conscious to the fact that it came until we see the wet pavement when we walk out of the door in the morning.
When life changes, we change, sometimes we realize it and sometimes we may not. At this time in my life, my relationship to sport is certainly changing. I know this reflects internal and external changes that I am navigating in my life. I’m learning to be okay with that. I used to think that not racing triathlon or Ironman would be like an earthquake in my life; actually, I used to feel that way about soccer until triathlon came along 8 years ago. Now I am recognizing that my new love of trial running is becoming what I need it to be at this time in my life (who knows about the rest of my life. I don’t have a crystal ball to know;)
Last weekend, I climbed to summit to Mt. Diablo from Northgate entrance solo. My husband was recovering from Oceanside 70.3 so it was not in his plan to go the whole way with me. I had no idea what I had committed myself to, but I did know I needed time on my legs. I’ll be running a trail half-marathon on Mt. Diablo in one week and a trail 42k in Cool, CA the week after and needed the training in the dirt. It was tough and hard and long. I wish I could say I had some great epiphany on my 4,000 ft trek, but I didn’t. However, what I did realize on my way up, up, up the mountain was how beautiful it was as the terrain changed. I stopped to see a deer prance in the woods, butterflies, wildflowers and bright orange poppies, cool looking rocks, the sound of the trees in the wind, and the crunching of my steps as I ran/walked the earth. I was grateful to connect with the beauty all around me. I realized that this IS life.
Even in the tough changing terrain of life there is always, always, always something beautiful in our environment surrounding us. The challenge is to see it, to really connect with it, and take it for what it is…a beautiful reminder that not everything in life is always going to be hard or changing or ugly. Even amongst the toughest climbs in life where you may not be able to see the summit or the next pass there is always beauty along the way. Sure that beauty will not solve your problem or make the storms in life disappear, but they offer comfort and contrast. It reminds us that we have a choice in the matter of perspective. Do we choose to put our heads down and weather the storm, not conscious to what around us and merely “getting through,” or do we pick our head up, look forward, and face the fact in life that we all coexist with the beauty and difficulty in life at every moment?
Today, my friend and trail running mentor Janet, my husband, and I went up to Auburn to get some more trail action in honor of Janet’s B-day and also because she is running the 42k too. I woke up early, groggy, and in my head. Committed to get the hours in my body, but unsure how I would deal with the process. Once again the trails and the time out there gave me what I needed. So many beautiful God affirmations in the process of our 3 hr run. I went in feeling blah and came out feeling centered. It was just what I needed. We even met Sally McRae, Elite Ultra Trail Runner and Western States 100 Mi Top 10 Female Finisher! How random is that?! I follow her on social media, read her blog weekly, and seek her posts for my trail inspiration. This was definitely a sign that I am at where I should be…and so are you:)
No matter what change you are going through you are where you should be. Find the beauty. Keep seeking what you need. If what you used to need does not give you what you know you need find something else. Even our hobbies, outlets and mental coping tools change. Nothing is meant to be everything to us all the time. That goes for sport too. Your sport should be what it needs to be for you. Otherwise, find another sport or something that can be what you need to be. It’s okay. It. Is. just. change. Whenever life takes something out of our life I believe that it is to make space for something better. Making space is not easy. Making physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional space is not easy work but in the process BELIEVE that there is beauty in YOU and on the journey of change.
Shine on and own it beautiful people,
Below are a few pics from my recent adventures:)