Goal Reflecting: 5 Steps to Facilitate Change in Your Life

Happy New Year Rock Stars! It’s 2014 and we are blessed to see another turn of the year! There are so many things I want to update you all on, but today’s blog is about goal setting, or more like goal reflecting.

Goal reflecting is about checking-in with yourself and where you are currently in your life. It is about using the past year as a “road map,” allowing you to see where it has brought you to today. Goal setting and goal reflecting are about setting powerful intentions for your life as you move forward into the year. This is serious business, but fun too! Here are a few guidelines that can help facilitate reflection and therefore influence a more power goal setting process and outcomes.

1) First, be willing to be brutally honest but compassionate with yourself. Keep it real. In order to do this you MUST try your best to be non-judgmental and less critical of yourself, your life, and your past. Judging our past changes nothing, even if it was 5 minutes ago. Actually, the only thing that does change is feeling crummy in the present moment because we usually end up judging our past in a negative light. If you find yourself saying the word “should” and feeling guilty then you are judging. Some people believe in negative reinforcement and believe that negative emotions are more motivating towards change. I do not subscribe to that approach. Be honest, but positive. No need to beat yourself up.

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2) Next, get clear about your values. What values do the people and situations in your life reflect today? Is there a margin between what you value and what the outer world (people, situations, things) reflects that you value? Examples: You believe you value simplicity but find yourself buying things in excess. You believe you value family but your schedule reflects commitments that have you spending less time with family.  You believe in a hard work ethic but only work when you feel like it. Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.” What does your life reveal about you? The things we are most committed to and execute with precision are almost always connected to our deepest values.

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3) Then, identify what YOU deeply want for your life. Key word here, YOU! Give yourself permission to want what you want. If it is in line with your deepest values (such as self-respect, giving, excellence, compassion, self-care, self-worth, family) then go right ahead and own it! However, I know that during this part of the process you may hear the little critical monster saying, “Oh you’re not good enough for that. Are you really deserving of that?” “You’re being selfish.” “I don’t think I could do that.” Shut that voice down!  That is one of the biggest obstacles to goal setting- self-invalidation! In other words, you must be willing to give yourself permission to want what you want, no matter how big the dream is. It’s your life; you have a right to live according to your values and highest purpose. If you can’t give yourself permission to want what you want then you will continue to sabotage yourself in may other ways (such as excuses, distractions, procrastination, excessive business, poor eating habits, etc.).

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You got this!

4) Next, create your team. Choose the people in your life wisely. After all giving them your time is giving them a chunk of your life.  Pick people that reflect your values, believe in your future path, and are wiling to be flexible, accepting, direct, and nonjudgmental as you rock on in 2014! Take stock and be willing to let go of people and situations that do not serve your values. This can be a difficult thing to do but by doing this step you are putting action towards your values and goals. If it is hard but you know you need to do it, then DO IT! By doing it you are sending yourself a strong message that you are worth giving yourself what you say you want. Actions speak louder than words:)

Amen to that!
Amen to that!

5) Lastly…Have fun! Get creative! Try new things and give yourself permission to make mistakes! There is no formula to life and getting it “right” or “perfect.” I believe that goal setting is about creating the best blueprint or pathway towards living our highest and best selves. Explore that path. Deviate the path when needed to have a greater experience. But never stop trying new things and try not to be afraid to own the life you want. Read below and sign 🙂 permission-to-make-mistakes-card

In reflecting on my own process I am deeply grateful and blessed for all I have lived through this past year. I was not perfect or always on point, but I was persistent, determined, and did not give up. I have people that I care about and love. They support my crazy, outrageous, and challenging endeavors. I have this blog that allows me to share with you all my thoughts, reflections, aspirations, and changes. Thank you from the deepest part of me for reading and sharing this space with me.  Shine on rock stars and lets own 2014! ~Dr.G

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Dr. Gloria Petruzzelli

Dr. Petruzzelli is sport and performance psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher located in Sacramento, California and works with elite sport teams and athletes across the country. She is competitive athlete herself and enjoys practicing what she preaches.